A likely story

“Yes, um, Doctor, I was, um, walking around my house with my, um, robe open and I, um, slipped on some… on some… ah yes, on a banana skin, yes, a banana skin – that’s good, and my girlfriend had left one of her, um… free samples from her adult parties lying around and, um… well, it’s obvious what happened, isn’t it. I, um, just happened to be well lubricated because, well, you know, um… um… ah yes, I’d previously slipped on another banana skin in the kitchen and landed in a pat of butter which was open on the floor to, um, feed the cat… yes, the cat is on an all-butter diet at the moment and, um… yes, I was on the way to the shower to clean off the butter when I slipped on yet another banana skin… I have a pet monkey, you see, and it leaves them everywhere, you see, and, yes, fell straight onto the vibrator which just happened to be switched on and went right up my bottom, getting irretrievably lodged up there. Yes! That’s perfect! Yes, that’s exactly what happened!”

“Hmm. I see, sir. Well, hold still and I’ll soon get it out.”

“Well, that’s the thing doctor – couldn’t you just, um, change the batteries?”

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About A.D.S.

You are reading the musings of a music-obsessed forty-something who was brought up on The Beatles, lived through Britpop and now spends his time in pursuit of the best music around. This 'blog gives me an outlet to write about the huge number of albums I buy and the many gigs I go to. All of the opinions expressed are my own and if you don't agree with me, then I understand - music is a very personal thing. I like to receive comments, especially if they're nice ones.
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